Taamul

Million, billion stars Scars of the darkest nights When not invisible behind The  moon  bright &  white Unrelenting  at death  even  Hell, the shadow of heaven, where fire brightest  burn ? Cacophony of life In the womb l ie deathly Of the night Until the sun  silently detonates t he light  Freeing the violence of existence Destruction, you owe the dawn? Survival of the fittest, creation Fire, knowledge, religion Science & civilisation Control, light, sin, war & annihilation In the conquest of fear, inquest of  the   dark Interrogate the beginning Why the end?

Sunlight, tube light, Tail-light, headlight Green light, red-light Street-light, home-light Torch-light, wicker light Illume everything Pining away the dark Under the bed, inside the eyes Within the sea of weakness and ignorance Insensitive senses Amplified desires Endless ends, eternal beginnings Dark days indeed  for darkness.

On the long treeless walks, The unyielding Sun shone hot and hard. You had an umbrella. Did I love you? Or did I just wish some shade? Classes were boring hostel moribund. You pure entrancing charm. Did I love you? Or did I just want myself to lose unto you? My songs sucked. And you had the Bee Gees the Carpenters and Dan Seals Did I love you? Or did I just wish Music? Life not interesting, death not arresting, yet enough. You seemed both, yet more. Did I love you? Or did I just wish to inhabit A third world? Thoughts were insipid And you were my La belle mélange Did I love you? Or did I just aspire to indite, poetise, criticise? Mind was complicated And you had a neck, two breasts. Did I love you? Or did I just long to indulge in your innocent simplicities? I was lost And you were paths. Promising me a home, a light. Did I love you? Or did I just seek religion?

Swaying, chugging, whistling, tunneling through darkness, Within and beyond. Naipaul on the berth, Nokia in the palms, Kenny Rogers in the air.   Rhythm of rail in my bones, familiar journey, yet unfamiliar senses. Rattling fans, clunky iron wheels Bending my legs, I longed for familiarities of home, when   ordure and urine smell found my nose. And eyes looked towards its source. Saw a face glow, with the lonely light, erupting from the loo, against the ivory face. Hairs unmoved, scarf caught in the wind. The face entered, the darkness returned.